So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
