There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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