She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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