my mouth tastes like poor choices
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
