lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
