I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
