It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
