you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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