Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize