Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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