You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
