love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
