I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
