What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
