Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Nicole vs. Life
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
