we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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