i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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