So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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