I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
