one two three fourrrrnication!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
