She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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