Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
