are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
pray to the hookup gods
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