i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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