Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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