I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
