I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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