He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just pee around me
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
