Already got asked if we're dating
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
