Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i dont even know how to be here
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
