im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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