you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
