You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
