at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
