I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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