I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
don't judge my taste in strippers
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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