I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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