I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
