More tranny stories later!
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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