We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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