I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
