I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
