I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
