i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize