I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
