scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
