I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
