It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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