Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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