Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
