Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
