counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
