they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
