you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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