a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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