And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize