the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
