I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
