Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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