I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize