TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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