I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he puts the penis in happiness.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize